One of the activities to which Leslie was looking forward (me, not so much), was riding an elephant in the 'jungles' of Thailand. The last time we rode elephants was in Bali several years ago, a ride that drove my stoic take on danger to a rush of fear induced adrenaline when the damned beast took off on a run, heading for a patch of vegetation on which to dine. I swear to god it felt like we were going to fall off.
Fast forward five years, and we found ourselves in a van (air conditioned, thankfully), with a driver who could have very well been on meth (very prevalent in Thailand, believe it or not), careening around corners at outrageous speeds. Finally arriving at the site of the elephant 'safari', we were ushered out of the van, up some steep steps, and onto a platform from which we boarded the elephants. Did we get a safety briefing? Did we learn anything about how to best behave while atop the back of an elephant? No. Basically, we were directed onto a flimsy bench strapped in two ways to the elephant: the bench was roped around the belly of the beast, with around seven or eight blankets protecting the poor elephant from the pressure of the bench's steel frame, and a rope swept behind the elephant, under its tail, creating an anchor for the setup.
My son cried when initially faced with boarding the Asian elephant. It was scary, and even I had trepidation about how to exactly board the damned thing. Eventually, we coaxed Liam onto the bench with Leslie, while Lily and I took the second elephant. The guides took to either riding on the skull of the elephant, or walking along side, all the while whistling commands and cajoling the beasts to stay on track.
The elephants are amazingly sure footed. They navigated dried, rocky river beds with ease. Going uphill was easy on us passengers. We simply were pushed back into our bench seats. Downhill, on the other hand, was a bitch. With only a rope loosely strung across us as a barrier from falling forward and off, gravity was our fear inducing enemy. After a few bouts with mortal fear, we learned to reach behind and brace ourselves to prevent the feeling of falling forward.
During the hour long walk through the woods/jungle, our guide was making small talk, especially with my daughter Lily. It was so obvious that he was flirting with her, even picking a flower especially for her. I teased Lily as much as possible, which of course, embarrassed her and prompted her to tell me to shut up several times. Teenagers are so easy to embarrass.
When we finally returned, we thought (and were ready) to go back to the hotel. It was damn hot in that jungle, with high humidity, but lots of canopy cover to give us ample shade to help cool us. For 50 baht, we fed the elephant sliced pineapple, which it, of course, picked up with its trunk and placed directly in its mouth. We were surprised to learn that it ate every part of the pineapple, even the spiny top.
Moreover, of the operators of the 'tour' wanted to show us tricks that a baby elephant could do. I felt bad for it - who knows what improprieties it faced, what punishments it endured to reach the point where it could perform a variety of tricks.
Even after that, we started to the van, and were told fruit and water was waiting for us. Not being the rude type (we are west coasters after all, not New Yorkers), we went with the flow, and spent another 15 minutes with pineapple, watermelon and bottled water.
Finally, with our driver having apparently come down from his high, we enjoyed a safe and sane ride back to the hotel. We all looked at each other afterwards and thanked our lucky stars we opted for the one hour ride and not the two hour or full day 'adventure.'
Fast forward five years, and we found ourselves in a van (air conditioned, thankfully), with a driver who could have very well been on meth (very prevalent in Thailand, believe it or not), careening around corners at outrageous speeds. Finally arriving at the site of the elephant 'safari', we were ushered out of the van, up some steep steps, and onto a platform from which we boarded the elephants. Did we get a safety briefing? Did we learn anything about how to best behave while atop the back of an elephant? No. Basically, we were directed onto a flimsy bench strapped in two ways to the elephant: the bench was roped around the belly of the beast, with around seven or eight blankets protecting the poor elephant from the pressure of the bench's steel frame, and a rope swept behind the elephant, under its tail, creating an anchor for the setup.
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| Liam not sure sure about the seating arrangements, having just boarded the elephant |
My son cried when initially faced with boarding the Asian elephant. It was scary, and even I had trepidation about how to exactly board the damned thing. Eventually, we coaxed Liam onto the bench with Leslie, while Lily and I took the second elephant. The guides took to either riding on the skull of the elephant, or walking along side, all the while whistling commands and cajoling the beasts to stay on track.
The elephants are amazingly sure footed. They navigated dried, rocky river beds with ease. Going uphill was easy on us passengers. We simply were pushed back into our bench seats. Downhill, on the other hand, was a bitch. With only a rope loosely strung across us as a barrier from falling forward and off, gravity was our fear inducing enemy. After a few bouts with mortal fear, we learned to reach behind and brace ourselves to prevent the feeling of falling forward.
During the hour long walk through the woods/jungle, our guide was making small talk, especially with my daughter Lily. It was so obvious that he was flirting with her, even picking a flower especially for her. I teased Lily as much as possible, which of course, embarrassed her and prompted her to tell me to shut up several times. Teenagers are so easy to embarrass.
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| Lily's suitor |
When we finally returned, we thought (and were ready) to go back to the hotel. It was damn hot in that jungle, with high humidity, but lots of canopy cover to give us ample shade to help cool us. For 50 baht, we fed the elephant sliced pineapple, which it, of course, picked up with its trunk and placed directly in its mouth. We were surprised to learn that it ate every part of the pineapple, even the spiny top.
Moreover, of the operators of the 'tour' wanted to show us tricks that a baby elephant could do. I felt bad for it - who knows what improprieties it faced, what punishments it endured to reach the point where it could perform a variety of tricks.
Even after that, we started to the van, and were told fruit and water was waiting for us. Not being the rude type (we are west coasters after all, not New Yorkers), we went with the flow, and spent another 15 minutes with pineapple, watermelon and bottled water.
Finally, with our driver having apparently come down from his high, we enjoyed a safe and sane ride back to the hotel. We all looked at each other afterwards and thanked our lucky stars we opted for the one hour ride and not the two hour or full day 'adventure.'
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